Here is a big secret: you really don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  You are totally free.  You’re even free to make terrible choices!  You could kiss your boss, abandon your kids,  cheat on your taxes.  You could lie, be destructive, break a promise.  (I’m glad you don’t want to.  But what’s it feel like, just knowing that you could?)  Imagine the potency of removing ‘can’t’ and ‘have-to’ from your mental vocabulary.  Believing “I can’t have fun anymore because of my kids/job/dog” is passive and disempowering.  Thinking “I choose to go home/work/walk because I am someone who honors my own values” is a way to claim authority and sovereignty over your life.  It’s a slight shift in perspective, but it’s enough to change the millstones around your neck into your treasures.  When you acknowledge ownership of your choices, you are free.  And that’s priceless.

This was first published in Being A Broad magazine, where I write a monthly column called Advice For Renegades.  Reproduced with permission.