Portland Update

05/16/2011

0 Comments

 
I am having a love affair with Portland.  It's getting serious.  We're moving in together.   
 
Yes, folks, my big news is that I am staying in Portland.     
 
I'm still not sure how it's all going to play out.  I'm full of joy and excitement one minute, and dripping with grief the next.  I didn't say a proper goodbye to all the people I love in Japan.  My life and business in Tokyo are just dangling.  Things here are challenging as I scramble to set up a new life.  I'm trying to stay in the moment, breathe deeply, and let things unfold.  

I really hate letting things unfold.  

They unfold so darned slooooowly.   

Except when they move fast, like the last couple of weeks, when I signed a lease, bought a car, set up utilities, and bought an entire household's worth of furniture, dishes, and linens.  Then I moved into our new apartment and my daughter had the stomach flu.  (I'm a little tired.)     And somewhere in there I cooked up a seriously juicy class on fear and went to a horse whispering workshop, but more about that next month.  
Add Comment
 

Update from Portland

03/16/2011

0 Comments

 

Darlings.
 
We had an earthquake in Japan.  Maybe you heard.  We were fine in Tokyo, though pretty scared.
 
The north was devastated.  One of my favorite spots in the world, the bit of coast where my family has spent the summers since I was a little girl, is no more.  
 
We grieve for the losses, and we send all of our healing energies and love to all those battling for survival, and those battling on their behalf. 
 
Thank you so much to all of you who have reached out to me with messages of love and support.  I've had more offers of places to stay than I could count one hand, and I am grateful beyond words.   

A few days ago I wrote a note about the way I was choosing to battle my fear instead of succumbing to panic.  It's called "How to stop being afraid--even when the whole world thinks you should be."  I decided that the techniques that were helping me cope with my fears might be useful to others who were feeling afraid, no matter what the reason.  You can read that below.

Shortly after that, I decided to bring my daughter to the US.  We arrived safely in Portland, and are staying with my siblings here-- a strange bit of delightful joy amidst this great tragedy.  
 
In deciding to leave Japan, I got the answer to a question I'd been wondering about for a long time-- how to tell the difference between fear and intuition.  I wrote about that, below. 
 
I'm glad to be here, but big chunks of my heart are still in Japan.  People in the north face untold hardship and loss.  My partner remains in the country, though he has gone further south.  My parents, who have been missionaries in Japan for more than 25 years, feel called to stay and minister to their church family and the other missionaries in their care.  I deeply respect their decision, but my heart aches. 
 
For now, I am taking my daughter to the park, leaning against these mighty trees of the northwest, and watching the rain come down on the daffodils and crocuses.  I have no idea what happens next.  But I am grateful.  I am so intensely grateful for so many things, and one of them is you who are reading this. 
 
Much love to you and yours. 
 
Anna
Add Comment